This week, Albuquerque had an official cloudy day. It was Tuesday. When I say cloudy, I mean not just for a little bit or only a few hours, but the entire day was fully covered in clouds. GASP! The morning DJ on the radio was asking listeners to call in their favorite upbeat songs that get them going to combat the
seasonal one-day affective disorder (SAD). While listening, I was honestly thinking, “Pansies! This is one day of clouds! Meanwhile Chicagoans and East Coasters are having days on end of this coupled with frigid temperatures and crazy snow storms. Having a cloudy day is a nice change! Variety is the spice of life! Only in Albuquerque…” In fact, the DJ was not even sure what SAD was officially called but was trying to reference it as to how she was feeling. Like I have said earlier, SAD is hard to come by here.
I recalled thinking the clouds and rain were perfect backdrops for introspection or Robert Frost (“My November Guest”) or a cup of tea or Sarah McLachlan or at the least, just the way it was for the majority of a very long winter. I remembered that this picture someone posted on Facebook was quite accurate:
And then it hit me later…I was feeling undeniably BLAH! I had a hard time getting my day started. I felt unmotivated to do my normal routine (but somehow I did). Who am I calling pansy? ME! Can it be that I have acclimated this quickly to constant sunshine? Apparently some of what I thought would take some getting used to did not take long at all. Dare I say it? ONE cloudy day, and I missed the sun. ONE cloudy day, and I felt real effects in my mood and physical energy. Less than 7 months here, and I am already dependent on the celestial star for how I feel and fare.
And then it hit me even later…this is how I wish it were for me spiritually. ONE day without intimate communion, and I miss His presence. ONE day of not seeking Him out, and I recognize the effects on my entire well-being. When clouds are the norm, the appearance of sun gives a rare burst of energy and skyrockets the mood. The first day of real Spring weather after months of cold dreariness has everyone outside, smiling, laughing, tossing frisbees, feeling the lightness of discarded overcoats and extending benevolence to all humanity. Then the dreariness returns (at least in Chicago), and mankind goes back to its grumpy depression or at the least just trying to survive the remaining 2 months of BLAH. Unfortunately, this sunless state is more descriptive of my spiritual life. Those bursts of conviction and clarity can often succumb to the more typical slumberous condition. I want it to be the other way around where those bursting moments are typical and not rare and where the slumbering does not stand a chance.
Albuquerque, the land of sun, is where I hope to be constantly awake, alive, tossing frisbees and extending generous benevolence to all humanity. It is not easy for one used to 9 months of hibernation. It is not easy when so many things can lull me to sleep. However, with a master Gardener who has been actively prepping the soil and seed, this pansy just may bloom into that delightful place of daily dependence.